Smash Bros University
by B1tt3rb33f
Summary: Just a oneshot I decided to write. Although I know absolutely nothing about college, I tried my best. This is a story of friendship, and life lessons. Rated T for mild language and sexual themes.


**Author's Note: Thought I'd do this one for fun. It's a one-shot, but it's good. This is just a random story, it was an idea I had when making myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Don't ask me why. It just happened to pop into my head. Anyway, it doesn't have anything to do with the stories in the future, it's just an idea. Feel free to leave a review if you feel so inclined, and share this story with others.**

Super Smash Bros. University, or Smash University's campus was bustling with students, sauntering, chatting, and getting to their classes. These are the accounts of the fighters in the Smash Tournament, before they were official fighters.

 **Luigi**

"Ah, that was a good lunch, eh Luigi?" Mario asked me. I was sorta lost in my own world because my crush, Daisy, was walking across campus at that moment. I like Daisy. Her name makes her sound even more cute. She even looks like one! So, you might be wondering, why do I refrain from asking her out?

Because I'm a wimp. Even Mario knows it. Everyone knows that I'm such a wimp, that's why I always used to get bullied in middle school and high school. I got bullied once here, but my bro stepped in, and now no one bullies me. He really is super, as people call him. He's my role model, my determination.

"Weegee. Ey, Weegee!" I suddenly snapped back to reality.

"Huh? Wha... Oh, uh, yeah. That was a good lunch. Thanks bro. Let's, uh, get to the lecture hall," I said quickly, pointing in the wrong direction.

Mario sighed. "You're looking over at Daisy, aren't you? I know you have a crush on her, so why don't you ask her out?"

"B-because I'm scared that she has a boyfriend, and that I'll look dumb if she does. Also, I may get a lot of, excuse my language, crap, from her quote unquote boyfriend."

"Listen, bro. You need to just man up and ask her. Just do it, Weegee. I believe in you. Look, here she comes now. Ask her out, and try not to stutter. I notice that you stutter a lot when you're nervous." That, he was right about. I couldn't deny it. Daisy walked closer and closer to us, and I saw that she was with Peach, Mario's girlfriend. If only I was so lucky.

"Hey, Mario," said Peach. Daisy was avoiding my eye contact. I couldn't tell if she was blushing or not.

"Hey, Peachy." Mario embraced Peach and slung his arm around her shoulder. He eye-motioned for me to make a move.

"Oh, uh, hey Daisy?" I tried to sound as polite as possible. She tried not to turn my way. I swear I saw a smile.

"H-hi, Luigi. How are you?" That made me a bit more confident, but I lost some of that when Mario and Peach walked away to spend time by themselves.

"I'm doing great, actually. I was wondering, uh, do you...?"

"Uh-huh?"

"Uh, I mean, you probably ate lunch already, but, um, maybe, do you wanna meet up at, uh, Super Starbucks, sometime? Y'know, to hang out?" I tried to sound as brave as possible, and Mario gave me a thumbs up from over on a bench where he and Peach were sitting.

"Y-yeah, uh, yeah! That sounds good. Are you busy tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow's Saturday."

"Oh, right! Heheh, am..." She bit her lip and held her arm with her other. "So tomorrow?"

"Sure. Let's meet at 2:00 tomorrow. You busy then?"

"No. Sounds good."

"Alright. See you, tomorrow, Daisy."

"Uh, yeah! Bye!" She walked over to Peach and then she left. Mario walked over to me, Peach still under the comfort of his arm.

"That went well. Really," commended Mario.

"You did good, Luigi! Don't tell her I told you this, but, she has a crush on you too. In other words, she's open."

"Wow. Uh, cool!" I couldn't help but smile. Did I just get myself a girlfriend, like Mario? Only time would tell.

Guess I'm not such a wimp after all.

 **Link**

There's something about college that I love. Well, actually, there's many things. Maybe that's why this feels like it's going to be a long three more years. I have a girlfriend, Zelda, which is cool by itself. I called a truce between my middle school and high school bully, Ganondorf Dragnire, or Ganon, as I call him now. I guess we're bros now? All I know is that we don't hate each other anymore.

I was walking across campus the other day and saw him, well actually, he saw me. But anyway, he sees me walking on campus, and I guess he's a bit too affectionate because he's one of those guys who appear very husky but are very gentle or gay. I don't necessarily think he's gay, I just think he's changed, and he's not the bully he used to be. He gives me a hug and sometimes a noogie, which usually makes my golden hair messy and my beanie lopsided, but I know he has good intentions.

Zelda is my girlfriend, as I mentioned. She's pretty, and I think she's involved in hockey and softball, girls soccer, and a bunch of other things. We've been dating since, what, 8th grade? I think destiny is what brought us together. I remember that I always had enough courage to ask her, but she was always hanging with her friends. I try to spend most of my free time with her, y'know, to keep her safe like I should. It kind of balances out, I have time to hang out with Zelda and Ganon while also having enough time to study.

I was reading a textbook in the library, and I packed up to go. Outside, I met up with one of my "friends". I say "friends" because he's kind of a bad influence. He's a senior and he always hangs with his clique, so much that he would look weird on his own. I passed by, hoping he wouldn't notice me, but there aresome things you can't avoid.

"Heeeyy, Linkie! Wassup, homie!" called Captain Falcon, or Captain, as everyone calls him. Some girls like Rosalina and Wii (Wii Fit Trainer) were clinging to him, but had to let go when Captain stood up and walked over to me.

"Er, hey, Captain- oof!" Captain slapped me hard on the back, knocking the wind out of me.

"Hey, Linkie, I wanna introduce you to a girl! Her name's Palutena, or Tina for short." A girl in a very, uh, revealing, outfit stepped up to me and put a hand on my shoulder. I tried to walk away, but Captain pinned my arms behind my back. Mind you, he's a very big muscular guy, so I couldn't break free.

"Captain, I already have a girlfriend!"

"What are you, cucco? Hahaha! Little Linkie is cucco! Heh, don't worry. She's hooked up with a lot of guys. She has a lot of experience."

"What?! No! That's even worse! Stop!" She clung to me and whispered something that I'm not allowed to say because it was very inappropriate. Then she licked my ear!

"I'm still a virgin! I can't! I gotta wait until I'm married!" She licked my ear, just as soon as Zelda happened to walk by. When she saw me, she dropped her stuff in shock.

"Zelda! Don't just stand there! Help me! I'm not cheating on you-mmf!" Captain clasped his hand around my mouth. Zelda paused. paused. It looked as if she was taking it into understanding. Tina looked over to her, and Zelda ran away from us.

"No! Dang it!" Tina turned back around and started to undo my pants, but it appeared that Zelda faked running away. She ran back over to us, quietly. Just as soon as I thought I was going to lose my virginity, Zelda yelled out and socked Tina in the face as soon as she turned around. Then she turned to Captain, who still had his hand around my mouth. I mumble-yelled, "Help me!" which she fully understood. I don't know if it was a coincidence or a miracle, but right at that moment, Ganon was passing by, probably getting back from sports because he was in his football uniform and he was sweating. Then, he looked over at me being held by Captain. Now, most people knew that Ganon had become one of my best friends, and on top of that, they were also scared of him because he was well known in middle school and high school for being the school bully. Furthermore, he and Captain were not on the best of terms. So when he saw me like that, his nostrils flared and he marched angrily towards us like a mad gorilla.

"HEY!" yelled Ganon. Everyone turned and looked at him, and within seconds, only me, Captain, and Zelda were left. Captain let go of me and walked over to Ganon. I took the opportunity to zip up my pants because I didn't want Zelda seeing me like that. Then immediately, with no warning, Captain threw a Falcon Punch at Ganon, who ducked and countered with his own Warlock Punch. That was enough to send Captain flying back over a hundred feet. His clique rushed over and walked off with him. Ganon turned to me.

"You okay, buddy?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. That was scary."

"Hey, I get you, man. I'm glad you're all right, though. Hey, Zelda."

"Hey Ganon. Uh, I was on my way to that food place over on Melee Avenue. Do you guys wanna grab something to eat?"

"Sure," said both me and Ganon at the same time. We clasped hands in a high five and walked towards Melee.

 **Lucina**

"Lucina, wake up!"

"Nrgh... give me five more minutes, mom."

"Lucina! Wake up! We gotta go to the lecture!" shouted Robin.

"Hapatakah! Oh, jeez! I almost forgot! Oh crap, oh crap, we're going to be late!" I yelped.

"Yeah, and who's fault is that? I showered first, so don't expect there to be a lot of hot water." I rolled out of the bottom bunk and dashed into the bathroom. I frantically took off my jamies and hopped in the shower. Not thinking, I turned on the faucet and cold water began to spray out. I yelped in surprise and quickly turned it to hot. I squirted some shampoo on my hand and worked it into my messy bed hair. I grabbed the scrunchie, but fell over in the process, cutting my leg a bit. I rushed the rest of my shower and jumped out with half the conditioner still in my hair. I just wiped it off with a towel and prayed that my hair wouldn't get greasy. I grabbed my toothbrush and moved my hand faster than normal, making the gums in between my teeth bleed a bit. I rinsed out with some mouthwash and ran out of the bathroom with a towel around my waist. I pulled on some jeans, my "Lucina Says" shirt (my mom made it for me with a picture of my yelling face after I beat the crap out of a piñata with a sword on my 8th birthday) my hoodie, and my headband. I grabbed my stuff, and followed Robin out the door, where I almost ran into boyfriend, Marth, in the hallway. He was hanging out with his friend, Ike and they looked at us kind of funny as we rushed down the hallway. Marth called, "Good luck!" and Robin and I basically ran the rest of the way to the lecture hall. I swear I could feel my hair getting greasy already.

Don't you hate mornings like that? Especially when you walk in and everyone gives you that you're-late-but-you-don't-have-to-let-everyone-know look. So me and Robin sat down in the lecture hall and listened to the teacher give a lecture on sword fighters and then we had a test, which I studied my ass off for, so I better get 100%. Oh, and, I happen to be the second best in the class. The spot for best in the class goes to the guy named Roy. There's a kid named Link who's just below me, but he's going to be two below me once I get that 100! Yeah! I mean, it's just a test on sword techniques, but I'm pretty good at them.

The rest of class, the professor just rambled on and on about stuff I already knew, so I took a little siesta. Not the best decision, because I was unprepared for when we had to practice sword techniques. Well, tired at least. I was good, but still less than Roy.

"Why do you keep falling asleep in class? You miss out on information that you need!" said Robin after class.

"You mean information that I already know? That guy just preaches about material that we went over like, last week."

"The parabola of a sword swing?"

"Yup."

"The force applied on a sword when swinging?"

"And the control? Check."

"What was it then?"

"Joules. Between 150 and 200 joules. I know all the material, trust me."

"Okay. Just checking. Well, I gotta go my elemental spells class."

"Later Robin." I waved goodbye and we walked in separate directions.

I walked on over to a stadium building to practice my sword techniques. I entered and headed down to the arena stage. I was like, an hour into practicing, but then out of nowhere, that other guy from my sword fighting class, Meta Knight. He drops down from above me, luckily I'm able to roll to dodge.

"What the hell?! Meta Knight?" He was wearing his fighting mask, but I could still see him squint his eyes, either meaning that he was smiling, or meaning, "I'm gonna beat the crap outta you." He rushed at me with speed, and jabbed towards my face. I was a little slow, and his blade cut me. By now, I started to notice that he had brought along people from the sword fighting class, like Shulk, Corrin, Cloud, Ike, Link, and even Marth was there.

"You fight well, but can you withstand my Mach Tornado?" Meta Knight spoke in a heavy accent and began to spin around extremely fast, swing his sword madly. He moved closer towards me, in an attempt to strike. I swung my sword towards him, and the metal clashed together in a furious rain of bright sparks. I pushed harder, and Meta Knight stopped spinning, but he was dizzy making him an open target. I took the opportunity to jump slash down on him, but he moved out of the way in time like a drunk man, barely missing the blade. I heard the sword clank against his metal mask, and looking down, I saw that my sword had broken off a piece of the mask. I ran over to Meta Knight and grabbed him by his shirt collar before he could react. I kicked him in the chest, sending him sailing across the arena, but I rushed over to the spot where he would land and slashed at him again, causing him to fly to the other side of the room, in which I repeated, until I took my sword into both hands and charged up a hard swing. He didn't get seriously maimed due to his armor, but after that one slice, he went flying all the way up to the ceiling and came crashing down. But as he fell, I imagined myself in that situation, so I had to react quickly. I jumped up into the air and caught Meta Knight before he hit the ground. I landed safely on the ground, and laid Meta Knight down on the arena floor. Everyone in the bleachers was pretty surprised by my actions, but I flipped my sword in my hand twice, and sheathed it. The second I made that action, everyone went wild and started cheering. It was a small audience, but I was glad that someone could see how strong I was.

 **Sonic**

Man, there's nothing I enjoy more than running. Running lets me express who I really am, it gives me an opportunity to unleash my talent, to do what I love. That's the reason why I run track. I don't mean to brag, but I'm the fastest on the team. There was one track meeting, I remember, where I ran around the track 10 times without stopping. That really pushed my limits. Whew.

I'm usually not much for competition, but when it comes to running, I'm a total fanatic. Now, the coach knows about my ability to run super fast, but I'm only allowed to go super fast when I'm practicing. I can't use it during actual competitions, but i can do without. There's quite a lot of people on the track team, in fact. There's an android named Rock, or nicknamed Mega Man, who's a pretty fast runner, but not faster than Samus, the fastest girl on the track team. There's also Mario and his brother Luigi, Zelda, a dog with a duck partner for some reason, Wario, Fox and Falco, Greninja, and others. They're all pretty good, except for the duck. But he rides on the dog, who is pretty fast and rather self-conscious as well.

But the best races were when I didn't get first place, oddly. That happened sometimes when I either was physically unable, or when I wanted someone else to win. I could say that I tried my best, but I was rather happy when someone else got first place and I didn't. I would usually get third place when this happened, sometimes second. You may be thinking, "Man, what an idiot! Why would you give up first place? Who wouldn't want first place?" Let me put it to you this way: if you're a track star, a champion who wins every race, wouldn't you get tired of always winning first and being better than everyone else? If you don't, well, that's kinda selfish. But if you understand what I mean, then you know what it feels like to not be perfect. Which is good because I know I'm the fastest thing alive, and I can roll around at the speed of sound, (heheh, that rhymed) and hubris is also bad, and well, boring. Let me give an example.

I finished my classes one day. I had gotten lunch from a hotdog place over by Krispy Ring on Brawl Avenue. If there's anything I love as much as running, it's chili dogs. You don't know the true meaning of life until you have chili dogs. Anyway. I'm walking down Brawl, eating the rest of my chili dog, and I see Fox, Falco, and Wolf walking towards me. They're all chatting, talking about tournaments or something, and then they notice me.

"Hey Sonic," they all say individually. I respond with a simple, "Hi."

"Hey Sonic, are you prepared for the race today?" reminded Falco.

"Yep. Ready as I'll ever be," I replied.

"You better be. I bet a lot of money on you guys to win," said Wolf in a deep voice. He doesn't do track, he thinks he's too slow. I don't argue with him.

"Don't worry. You can count on us to win. Wait, who's us again?" I'd temporarily forgotten the teams.

"Us three, Luigi, Samus, Greninja, and Ryu," replied Fox.

"Nice. We got the good people on our team. I, uh, gotta go practice."

"See ya later." They went in their own direction.

I made my way to the field where the track was. The race didn't begin for like, an hour, so I started running furiously around the track nonstop. Mind you, it's one of those schools with a track much bigger than the average college track and field. It was difficult, but I pushed myself to 15 times around. At the end, I was tired, panting, and ready to drop on the ground like a rag doll. But I pushed on. I temporarily fell asleep during practice, too.

Eventually, the people from our track team started making their way onto the field. More people showed up for this event than I thought, so I was pretty excited. Soon, the races began. There was Samus vs. the dog, (I still don't know why they let a dog go to Smash University) then Mario vs. Greninja, Ryu vs. Zelda, and a bunch of other people. I was called last, and I was up against Rock (Mega Man). I was pretty excited to get this race over with, so when I was called, I rushed to the starting line and lined up. It was the race of truth, to see who would become the greatest track team. Well, that's what I believed. It didn't really matter if I won or lost in reality, but I could feel the hundreds of pairs of eyes looking at me as I raced. My heart was pounding because I couldn't use my super speed. Rock was a robot. He didn't get tired, which was probably part of the reason why he could run for a long time. The race wasn't too long, so Rock couldn't burst any circuits. I crossed the line almost at the same time as Rock, I say almost because he was a little ahead of me.

"One, *huff* more *huff* lap..." I panted as I raced furiously around the track. Rock wasn't showing any signs of tiredness, he just kept going. That's not to say that he's completely emotionless, I mean, he laughs. He can smile and frown. He can be determined, but the fact that he's a robot made it more difficult. Gaining that extra burst of speed, I raced past Rock with the finish line in view. It came nearer... and nearer... I was about to win... I saw Rock trying so hard and I slowed down a bit. It was very clear to everyone watching that Rock's foot crossed the finish line first. I heard some, "Come on!"s and some teeth sucking, but our team still won nonetheless. The other team was understanding, but Rock was so utterly filled with gratitude. That was because I lost on purpose, and he knew it. He knew that his team had lost, but he was happy, and so was I. Happy for someone else's victory.


End file.
